20 October 2011

Dear Driver

Dear Driver of the Dark Red Beretta,

I want to let you know that I really appreciate your consideration this morning. I watched you down the road from a half mile away, resisting the urge to speed to make sure I could go through the light with you, but you were kind enough to pull into the crosswalk to make sure the light wouldn't turn green before I got there. How did you know I love to get to trigger the sensors myself?

Also, I am grateful for how you quickly pulled away from me after we rounded the corner so that I wouldn't have to worry about driving close to someone who quite possibly didn't know where cars should go as opposed to pedestrians.

I did have a nervous moment when I saw you turn into the little road that goes to my work, but fortunately you reassured me by pulling a 9-point completely illegal u-turn about 10 yards down the street while I waited to turn after you. I'm so glad that you evidently don't work anywhere near me.

Thanks for making my morning so much fun!

Your Road-Neighbor,
~julie

17 October 2011

Gave Another Talk In Church

And I still write my talks out long-hand, the whole thing. I know my teachers (especially sophomore year English) tried to break me of this habit, but my words come out better in writing.

So here it is-Overcoming Adversity
(Quotes from Harold B. Lee are from "Chapter 22: Peace Be unto Thy Soul," Teachings of Presidents of the Church: HaroldB. Lee, (2000) unless otherwise cited.)

Good morning.
The topic - Overcoming Adversity - just in case I start to ramble or stop making sense, I wanted to make sure you got that part.

There are lots of types of adversity
*physical, mental, emotional challenges
*loss of loved ones, or seeing them go through their own challenges
*financial difficulties
*discouragement
*school projects and tests
*temptations
*sometimes we are disobedient and need to repent
*challenges that result from others using their agency in a way that makes our lives more difficult
*others criticize us, or criticize our faith

I'm sure there are more, but I'm going to focus on what we do about the adversity in our lives. I think that overcoming adversity is not necessarily defeating our difficulties and making them go away; rather, it is not letting adversity defeat us. In other words, we overcome adversity by remaining faithful through our challenges, without compromising our honesty or integrity.

As President Harold B. Lee put it, "The all-important thing in life isn't what happens to you, but the important thing is how you take it."

As I started to read and think about overcoming adversity, I found an overwhelming amount of information. Even just in our most recent General Conference there were many talks that give us tools for how we face our challenges. I chose a few of those ideas to talk about today.

The first one is that Focusing on Eternal Things Helps Us Put Adversity in Perspective

I'm going to tell a small story and then I will (hopefully) relate this back to overcoming adversity. My sister and her family visited recently. She has two children - Lucy, who is 6, and Calvin, who will be one year old soon. Calvin sees the world from an interesting perspective - about 14 inches off the ground. He loves to crawl around and investigate new things. I was watching him explore my mom's family room last Saturday. He played with his toys for a few minutes and then he crawled over the the exercise bike. He grabbed the side of the bike and stood up. He studied the seat, the posts, and the pedals. He touched everything, feeling all the hard and soft surfaces. He held on to the pedals and tried to play with them, but they just wiggled a tiny bit. After a few minutes, Calvin gave up and went back to his toys. I was struck by how he clearly wanted to know about this thing, this exercise bike, but he wasn't able to understand its purpose or how it all worked just yet. I'm sure it will make more sense as he grows up, when he understands the big picture.

Like little Calvin, we are all still learning and growing. There are many things in our lives that we may not yet understand. But Heavenly Father sees the big picture. His gospel teaches us about His plan of salvation, His plan of happiness for us. Focusing on the big picture can help us with our challenges. This might make more sense in someone else's words - so I will borrow again from President Harold B. Lee.

He said that “The one who confidently looks forward to an eternal reward for his efforts in mortality is constantly sustained through his deepest trials. ... He lives above his world and never loses sight of the goal of his salvation. ... The path to [exaltation] is rugged and steep. Many stumble and fall ... But through all this journey, there is the calming assurance that if we choose the right, success will be ours, and the achievement of it will have molded and formed and created us into the kind of person qualified to be accepted into the presence of God. What greater success could there be than to have all that God has?”

This was also expressed by the prophet Isaiah, in his beautiful words "But now, O Lord, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand." (Isaiah 64:8)

With the eternal perspective of our Heavenly Father, our adversity can be for our good, our learning, our strengthening, and our growth.

The second idea I want to talk about is how Service Helps Us in Our Adversity

I left that deliberately vague - it can mean others serving us, or us serving others. Both are good. Both help us overcome adversity.

Our ward is full of examples of others serving us in our adversity - we strengthen and help each other when we help someone move, when we bring dinner to a family who has need, when we home teach and visit teach each other, when we give a hug to someone feeling sad, when we write a note to let someone know we're thinking of them, when we help someone understand their homework, and in so many more ways. Receiving service from others helps us in our times of adversity because we don't have to endure things all on our own.

I have a file folder at home where I have kepts many of the encouraging notes and pictures that my friends and family have sent me during some of the hard times in my life. One of my favorites makes me smile whenever I'm feeling down - it says, in the slanted block-printing of a young friend, "I hop you feel better." And I do feel better every time I read it.

We can also find help in our adversity by finding ways to serve others.

In the book Daughters in My Kingdom, there is a story about a sister who had moved to New Jersey. Her husband was very busy with his first year in medical school, and she felt lonely because she hadn't made friends quickly. Then she was called to visit teach 12 sisters. As she got to know these sisters and their families, and as she served them, she said "I quickly forgot about my own loneliness as I served others. The sisters whom I had at first considered so different from myself soon became my dear friends who were grateful for even the slightest thing I did for them."

We all have chances to serve others, through our callings or through how we treat our family, friends, and acquiantances. As we serve others, their needs, their wants, and their happiness grows in its importance to us. We choose to make someone else's needs more important than our own, and our own problems can take a backseat as we focus on what we can do for others. Our feelings of stress, sadness, disappointment, and frustration are balanced by the feelings of love and joy we get from serving others.

President Heber J. Grant "Service is the true key, I believe, to happiness. When we perform any acts of kindness, they bring a feeling of satisfaction and pleasure into our hearts, while ordinary amusements pass away." ("Chapter 15: Labor for the Happiness of Others," Teachings of Presidents of the Church: HeberJ. Grant, (2002))

This next idea was in many of the talks I read from General Conference - Our Faith and Testimony Help Us Overcome Adversity

Again, here's a little story from my life. When I was in college, I learned that I have allergies. Just your normal, everyday hayfever allergies. Most of the time they are not too bad, but every once in a while allergies can make me feel pretty sick. So, my doctor recommended I start taking a daily allergy medicine, all year round. I started out with good intentions, but I quickly forgot to keep taking my medicine. And in the winter semester, that didn't matter very much. But when spring came, there were so many flowers and shrubs and trees all in bloom that I got sick pretty fast. I felt miserable for a whole week. If only I had remembered to take my allergy medicine every day, I wouldn't have gotten so sick.

This seems to me to be similar to our faith. We build our testimonies even when we're not in the middle of trials, challenges, and other forms of adversity, because then we will have built up the strength we need to face our challenges when they come.

There are many stories in the scriptures of people who have faced adversity with faith. One such story is when Nephi went with his brothers to get the brass plates from Laban. Nephi told his father "I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." (1 Nephi 3:7)

So Nephi was prepared with a testimony that the Lord would help them to get the brass plates. He did not get discouraged even after the first two attempts to get the plates from Laban failed. He relied on his faith and went into the city one more time and brought out the plates. We too may fail in some of our attempts in life, but like Nephi, we can lean on our testimonies to help us to try again.

Sometimes overcoming adversity takes a long time. The children of Israel were in bondage for a long time before the Lord called Moses to lead them out of Egypt. We may also endure challenges that do not end quickly. Our testimonies are key to overcoming, or to enduring our adversity with faith.

It's just like the parable in Matthew 7, where the wise man built his house upon a rock, "And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. ..."

As President Harold B. Lee explained, "The Master was saying, and I am saying to you today, that the rains of disaster, the rains of difficulty, the floods and winds of severe trials are going to beat upon the house of every one of you. There will be temptation to sin, you will have hardship, you will have difficulty to face in your life. The only ones that will not fall when those tests come will be those who have their houses founded upon the rock of testimony."

And after we do all that we can do, I believe there comes a point in our lives (or maybe this happens over and over) when we realize that we cannot overcome adversity with just our own strength.

We have a choice - when our challenges are too hard to handle - do we give up, lose our faith, give in to temptation? Or do we turn to our Heavenly Father's strength to hold us up when we can not stand on our own?

President Joseph F. Smith said, "Man is so utterly dependent upon God! How helpless we are without him; how little can we do without his merciful providence in our behalf!" ("Chapter 3: True, Faithful, Earnest Prayer," Teachings of Presidents of the Church: JosephF. Smith, (1998))

In this most recent General Conference, Elder Carl B. Cook of the Seventy shared an experience where he needed Heavenly Father's help in a time of adversity. When Elder Cook was a newly called General Authority, he was feeling overwhelmed by his new responsibilities. In his words:

"I left the office of the Seventy and entered the elevator of the Church Administration Building. As the elevator descended, my head was down and I stared blankly at the floor.

"The door opened and someone entered, but I didn’t look up. As the door closed, I heard someone ask, “What are you looking at down there?” I recognized that voice—it was President Thomas S. Monson.

"I quickly looked up and responded, “Oh, nothing.”

"But he had seen my subdued countenance and my heavy briefcase. He smiled and lovingly suggested, while pointing heavenward, “It is better to look up!” As we traveled down one more level, he cheerfully explained that he was on his way to the temple. When he bid me farewell, his parting glance spoke again to my heart, “Now, remember, it is better to look up.”

"As we parted, the words of a scripture came to mind: “Believe in God; believe that he is … ; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth.” As I thought of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ’s power, my heart found the comfort I had sought in vain from the floor of that descending elevator." ("It Is Better to Look Up, October 2011 General Conference on lds.org)

Like Elder Cook, if we remember to look up, to rely on our Father when we are overwhelmed by the burdens of life, He is there for us. He is there after we have done everything we can think of, everything we have the strength to do. He is there when our own strength isn't enough.

We can find Heavenly Father's help, like Elder Cook did, through the words of the scriptures, and through the words of the prophets and apostles. We can also find his help in blessings given with priesthood power. At a time when I was very scared, a priesthood blessing promised me that I would find peace through pondering on the things of the gospel. And I did.

Heavenly Father will help us because, as Alma said of our Savior's Atonement, "And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." (Alma 7:11-12)

Closing

A verse of a Primary song was stuck in my mind this week while I was preparing for this talk, and I believe it sums up what we do to overcome adversity. It says,

"What does the Father ask of us?
What do the scriptures say?
Have faith, have hope, live like His Son.
Help others on their way."
("He Sent His Son," Children's Songbook #34)

I believe that, as Elder Richard G. Scott said, "Our Heavenly Father did not put us on the earth to fail, but to succeed gloriously." ("Learning to Recognize Answers to Prayer, Ensign, November 1989)

I believe that I can overcome adversity, not by myself, but with help from others and from Heavenly Father. I believe the same is true for you.